Are you hungry?

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."Lamentation 3:24



How long have we sat at His table? The hungry to not leave.



But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,Psalm 33:18





Is He our hope. our strength, our song? Is He our portion? Do we wait like hungry children? Do you wait in the prayer closet, in the quiet, to hear and be filled with the joy of His presence?

Take My Life

Lately, I've been meditating on how precious it is to know Jesus. How is it that we can be intimately involved with the creator of all things? It blows my mind. I was listening to some of Kate Conlons music, and this song touched me. Its called, "Take my life." Alot of times I look at myself and my actions and my attitudes and then I see the Lord and His character.. And I do not feel worthy. But yet in my heart, I wanna be the woman that is sitting at the Lords feet. I wanna be the woman consumed with knowing the heart of God. Am I that woman?


Take My Life by Kate Conlon
I wanna be the one that you can see
I wanna be the woman at your feet
I want to know that if I touch you I am healed
I wanna feel you washing over me

Take my life
Use it for your will
Take it all, big or small
I give it to You

I can feel your heart, it beats for me
I can almost taste the tears you cried as the nails went through your feet.
She cries, "Oh God I will never understand what you've done for me.
But I'll give you back what you gave to me."

Take my life
Use it for your will
Take it all, big or small
I give it, take my life.

I wanna be the one that you can see
I wanna be the woman at your feet.
I want to feel you washing over me.
I want to feel you washing over me.
.......................

Are you the one sitting at the feet of the Lord?

The art of Surrendering

Well its definitely been awhile since I last posted something. I'm not really a blog type of person but every once in awhile I get inspiration to record the things that God has shown me in hopes it might encourage someone.. And even if there is no one who reads, I like looking back on it and remembering.

God has been teaching me alot about surrender. You know that song that goes, "All to Jesus, I surrender, humbly at His feet i bow. Worldly pleasures all forsaken, take me Jesus take me now. I surrender all... I surrender all. All to thee my blessed savior, I surrender all." ? I love that song. Its too bad that its not nearly as easy to do as it is to sing Sunday morning during worship. What does it really mean to surrender? Well it could mean alot of things for alot of different people. I could be giving up things that have caused strongholds in a persons life. It could be breaking off relationships that are hindering our walk with God. It could even mean spending less time on the internet and more time in Gods presence.

For me it meant being honest with myself.

The bible says that there is not one who does good. Don't get me wrong.. Whenever a person decides to follow the Lord, he puts a new nature in us and gives us a spirit of righteousness. We become righteous by the blood of Christ. Its nothing we do, besides surrendering. But whenever there are things that still need to be surrendered, theres parts of our heart that need to be changed.

Its not enough to just cut out the thorns in our lives that distract us from the Lord. If it is so hard to give up, we should take a good look at our heart. Admit it. Admit that your heart doesnt want to give up something so stupid in order to be closer to the Lord. However sad the truth of our motives are, we ought to realize that God knows the deepest parts of wickedness that lie in our hearts. Surrendering for myself meant that I had to take a look at what God expected of me, and how I didn't match up. It meant that I had to realize I could make as many rules for myself and I could make all the changes in the world.. But if I was not changed by God, I would eventually find myself in that same miserable pit that I swore I would never walk back into.

The heart of man is so desperately wicked. We ought to remind ourselves that there is not one ounce of good in us apart from God. God has been showing me in a very painful-end-of-myself way that I was foolish to think that I could make good out of horrible situations without the Lord. He is the definition of good. He is always faithful and always good in all that He does. It was my pride that kept me in my pit and pride that was caging me there.

Lose yourself, gain Christ.

"Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing you praise"

There is no life away from You. <3

Acknowledge Him.

"What do you think?" After months of hardship and struggling... I had just finished pouring my heart out to a friend only to find that the release I had been expecting did not appear. Why do hard and painful things happen to those who love and follow the Lord?

2 Timothy 2:3 - Suffer hardship with me as a good soldier of Christ Jesus.

One of the biggest misconceptions in the Christian world is that when we choose to follow Christ, we will have a pain and carefree life full of nothing but good. If that were the case.. Then why did God tell us that as a good soldier of Jesus... We will suffer hardship? The reason so many Christians get burned so much is because we do not realize that we ARE soldiers. We are in the midst of the biggest battle (the war over our souls.) On Sunday I had the pleasure of hearing an evangelist preach. I never thought the word would hit me this hard. Its amazing how the word always seems to clearly show our stupidity. We think we have it all right! While hardships happen.. People have grown accustomed to going to God and asking Him to take those hardships away. Many of us seem to not understand that the Lord HAS A PLAN and wants to DO A WORK in us. There is purpose to all He does.

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way' (Ps 37:23)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths (Pro 3:5)

This is where the title of this blog comes into play. God's word is so simple! But we make it so complicated. We try to develop formulas that will lessen our hardship in this life..We lean upon our own understanding. But if we would stop and acknowledge the Lord in every area of our life, we would see the direction of the Lord.. and we would see His plan. Instead.. When we experience any level or amount of confusion or pain.. We run to our brothers and sisters in the Lord for advice before seeking the counsel and direction from the one who has led us to that very place to begin with! Why is it so hard for us to trust the Lord? Don't get me wrong.. It is good to seek counsel and advice from our brothers and sisters in the Lord. But when we go through hardships... Isn't it true that the one who will understand and know the best is the Lord? He is the one that is directing and guiding our steps.. That is, if we have been acknowledging Him in all of our ways. I can look back at so many instances in my life where I have asked the Lord why something has happened.. And have gotten no answer. Now I see in hindsight that it was my failure to acknowledge the Lord in everything.

Practical Christianity! The word of God is so good.. It is so true. We make so much more hardships for ourself when we fail to DO the word practically in this life. How can God direct our steps if we haven't even been acknowledging Him in all of our ways?

ALL OF OUR WAYS.

Not just in the area of what career to Pursue. Not just in the area of what to say on Sunday morning. IN EVERYTHING WE DO.

When we start acknowledging the Lord in everything.. Only then can the Lord use us in a mighty way. So when you experience hardship in this life.. Look to the Lord and trust. Know that He has a plan and allow Him to do a work in you because God will use anything that appears bad for the good of those that love the Lord.

Selfish Christianity

I've been thinking about the spiritual state of America. Please bear with me though.. Because I know I'm not the most eloquent person when it comes to writing. And I don't always feel like i have important things to say. But I know this is important. I know because it was layed upon my heart... So hard that I literally almost cried. It struck me today how I'm so much more concerned with the details of my own life that I don't see the pain around me. Don't get me wrong. Its not living in America that makes me selfish.. Its just that we've taken all of our blessings for granted.. and the majority of America has picked the curse over the blessing.
While I pop out my 80g ipod and listen to music.. Or sit down at the laptop browsing on the internet.. Or sitting at the dinner table eating food... With my family. I forget that there are people with no homes. There are families breaking their backs so that their children can have food to keep them alive. There are even little children who are afraid to come home from school.. Because their dad will assault them sexually or abusively. It makes me so angry how arrogant the people in this country are. It makes me even more upset to look at my own heart and see how I have taken for granted almost all the things the Lord has blessed me with. How selfish are we? But of course.. Its easy to say that this world is in grave sin.. And we are all in need of a savior.. But does that mean we forget about everyone elses pain but our own?

I've been taking a real look at my life. I've been thinking about what profession to pursue.. Where God wants me. How He will use me. Before... It was. What am I interested in? What career would I love to do? Make alot of money?

But thats the problem with the main mentality of America. What will make ME happy? What will give ME the most money? Its centered upon I. Its so self-centered. Why would the Lord bless you with all these things... To have you use it for yourself? What happened to our hearts guys? Ask the Lord to open your eyes up to the pain that is going on around you. Those who do not have the Lord have no hope. These are the people Jesus reached out to. What are we doing with this life? Maybe that isn't the question we should ask ourself. The real question is.. What aren't we doing?

I'm so tired of living for me. I've waisted so many years.. So many chances to show someone Christ; to show someone that there is HOPE. I have it so easy. I have a family that loves me.. A job. A body of believers who continually encourage and support me. But what am I doing to show someone Christ?

Christians don't forget your calling!
Don't stop praying. Don't stop sharing.
Stop being selfish, start really loving people.

How much does the Lord's heart break over America alone?
Think about it.

My Psalm to the Lord, if only I were more musically inclined..

The music begins as i fade into that place
My hands float up, as you whisper to me
How is it that You love me?
I recall the other day when I had no time to speak with You
Other things stole my attention.
Other worries swept me away,
Yet You came close to me. As You came near,
My throat began to have that achy feeling.

I feel ashamed for the times I felt like i knew best.
You still move. As You move You amaze me.
All those times I've betrayed You;
Yet Your love sweeps over me.
I know then there is no contest.
Truly, there is not one other being in this universe like You.
Theres not one soul who can know me like You do.
You are intimately acquainted with all my thoughts and intentions.

While You are near, I see how unclean I am.
How can one ever be proud when in the midst of Your presence?
Your character and Your wisdom leave me speechless.
You are so much more complex than I know.
You have this mystery about you that leaves me pondering at night.
In the pages of Your word lies sweet knowledge and wisdom.
In the prayer closet theres an intimacy this world can not duplicate.
You Amaze me.

Some theories/convictions/opinions/revelations

It seems like I've really gotten into History alot as of lately... In school, I've always been the one with a "C" in history. I can't really say why. I guess in my brain i know it is factual, but when I read it on paper, its not real to me. You know what I mean? I must not let my mind imagine it.. so therefore, its kinda like a really boring story from a long, long time ago that doesn't really apply to me. I think my eyes are opening...

My friends invited me to go down to Va to stay with some really awesome people, go to church, and also explore the DC area and visit Mt.Vernon. I haven't really put much thought to our founding forefathers. All I ever said on the matter was that the ten commandments were used in a court house, so the people must have been godly. Little did I know that George Washington, our first president, was a mason. I can't tell you if his soul is in heaven or hell... But what I can tell you is my opinion on the matter. (The fact that I have an opinion on history is improvement to me lol) I always just assumed George Washington was a Christian. While some friends and I were at Mt.Vernon, we also stopped by the tomb where his body was kept. There was a guy there who talked a little, and answered questions if there were any... I asked him if history claims George Washington was a Christian. He answered saying that never once did Washington refer to God as Jesus Christ. He also said that up until a certain point, Washington faithfully attended a Christian non-denominational church. But after that point, he never attended that church since. I know the bible says that there is only one mediator between us and God, and that is Jesus. I got the impression that during that era, religion was a very personal thing. I do understand that... But I also strongly believe that when someone knows the true God, they cannot keep Him a secret.

For some really sad reason, God has now become a very relative term. God to some is Jesus Christ, and to others.. Is Allah. But a true God-fearing Christian will say that Jesus Christ is the one true God! Why could Washington never proclaim the name of Jesus? That just seems somewhat off to me. Then again, it is very masonish (not a word) to do that. Correct me if I'm wrong... But didn't people from different faiths (Muslim and Christian's alike) get together and talk about God with one another? Thats wack! Dude, your "god" is Allah, but mine is Jesus Christ! We have absolutely nothing in common in the faith area. Justttt messed up!

Okay now for the convicting things I have realized about my life-living.

Last night my family and I went to watch the movie Defiance. I do not in anyway promote that movie... If you have a filter that will filter out the filthy language, then I totally recommend it! My point is not to tell you to go see it unless you have a way of avoiding the crap.. But anyways, the rest that wasn't crap was really, really, really eye opening. I don't want to ruin it for any of you all... But to me, that movie made history real to me. It gave me a new perspective on the annihilation of the Jews during WWII. I guess I had never considered that there were infact Jews who fought back. The convicting thing to me, I guess,, would be taking for granted the things that some people have never had. Here us Americans are living freely, but hardly living. And the Jews during that time... Had lost their right to be alive. What if our right to be alive was taken away? How would I live, holding onto life? Will I be more serious about the Lord's work? Will I be more concerned with the still, small voice; the leading of the Holy Spirit telling me where to go, as He leads? Theres something to chew on.

Comment if you have thoughts!
-Kaitlin.

The Blessing of Journaling

When I was younger, someone once told me that it was really good to keep a journal and write down all the things God is speaking/showing to you. So... When I turned 13, I started journaling. I've never become very consistent in writing down absolutely everything that God has done or shown in me, but.. Last night I believe I have experienced the blessing of journaling. I pulled out two or three old journals (that were lost in the great black hole, that is.. my closet) that i forgot even existed. I always thought that looking back on previous journal entries, I would get mad at myself or frustrated at myself for how stupid i was.. For the mistakes I made and whatnot. Reading back, I noticed that I had the tendency to write down alot of the trials I experienced, even the failed ones. For some really lame (but cool) reason, it is now that I realize how much the Lord helped me overcome my evil desires for ungodly things and encouraged me with the promises that the Lord is in me, for me, and helping me at every moment (if i should ask.) It amazes me how intimately involved the Lord was in the very details of my life struggles. When I was discouraged, His word was like life to me, implanted in my heart... So if my mind might believe I'm not able to overcome, the word took authority in my heart and said- in Christ I have VICTORY. In Christ Jesus, I am enabled to do anything the Lord wills me to do.

7/13/07

Show me Your ways
Lead me in truth
I'm afraid of losing my sight of You
Show me Your ways
Lord, be my hope
How I'm so unworthy, so I may not boast

Deep in my heart theres a longing
For the Power and the touch of Your hand
And all I can do is cry out to You
As I'm sinking in this sand
With no power or might, I try to climb out
And I cry out for help, but my voice cannot shout
Show me Your ways, lead me in truth, please help me out
`````
I truly believe that the Lord showed me that while I was so weak spiritually, His strength pulled me further in my walk with Him. His strength is made perfect in weakness. And I was really, truly weak. Its only when I'm "feeling" strong enough, that I forget to call on Jesus. Its now that I realize, when I feel strong, it is Christ's supply pulling further in the race and closer to the finish line. Let he who thinks he stands, take heed, lest he falls. How true is this verse!! How can we think that while we stand, we stand alone? That while we have victories, we can take any credit? It is Christ's supply, His wisdom, His strength, His word, His way, and His blood that He shed that enables me to follow Him. And when I fall, how can I ever forget? That the same Christ (the unchangeable one) that helped me overcome, will also help me climb out of the pit?

Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you.
Lets draw near. =)

Thanks

Thank You Lord...

For

Your presence in my life
caring enough to know the number of tears i've cried
never giving up on me
being the perfect sacrifice
becoming my life
giving me nourishment from your living word
being merciful enough to draw near to me while i draw near to you
being my all in all

You are my life, my peace, my hope, and the joy of my life.

You make known to me that path of righteousness, and in it is fullness of life.

=) <3

What Disney never told us...

At a really young age, expectations are being drilled into little girls, telling them that there is one specific, perfect person out there who will come and steal their heart, and gallop into the sunset.... And then have that happy ever after thing. See, I have a particular problem with this whole perfect prince charming/happily ever after thing. Heres why...

Girls develop inrealistic expectations of men. They believe that one day, there will be a man who will worship the ground they walk on. I truly believe it is one of the major reasons as to why girls fall so hard the first time they fall "in love." (which isnt really love...) And when that "first love" doesn't seem to work out, they have their first, most heart-wrenching break-up ever. I can relate. Mine nearly ruined my entire world (and I'm not exaggerating.) Don't get me wrong. Outside of the will of God, we are all very innately selfish people. Its not a gender thing, its a human thing. Sooo many girls base their source of confidence and self-esteem on the amount of attention a guy feeds to her (hey, it can happen to guys too! I'm sure.. But I seem to noticed the trend in girls all around me...). Its so rediculous. And.. because we've all somehow been brainwashed with this "happily ever after" theory with prince charming... The girls who have never had a guy look at them in a flattering way feel as though there is something wrong with them; something not good enough. So many girls measure their worth on the amount of attention that is fed to them by seemingly "charming" people.

The truth is that there are charming people... but Prince charming never= happily ever after. Not if you forget the glue that will hold your relationship together.

The real question to ask yourself would be... What are you living for? Really?

Why do we measure our worth on how much we're appreciated or noticed? Don't we realize that we have been bought with a price? If you don't know what that means.. It means that a huge God actually thought it was necessary to die so that we didn't have to live the crappy "self-seeking", "self-improving," "Prince charming reassuring" life. Though I usually don't understand why, God thought we had enough worth to send His son to die for us. Why can't we measure our worth on the sacrifice Christ gave, instead of how "attractive" we look to other people?

What Disney never told us... Was that relationships only have the "happily ever after" if they are held together by the glue that is Christ. And even then, it takes seeing God daily to help you be an adequate mate for your spouse. (Notice I said spouse =) ) We don't seek God either, just to become that ideal, virtuous woman. If we'd just seek Christ with pure heart motives, everything else will follow. If we've been brainwashed to like every guy that adores us, how is that love? All that is is selfish pride, wanting to feel good about oneself instead of actually loving the other person genuinely. But how can we love if we don't know what love is?

Love is God. And looking at a world without God.. I've realized that they've redefined the whole meaning of love. No longer is love this selfless, unconditional, never-failing thing... Its now become this selfish self-esteem booster that only lasts until a couple gets bored with one-another. If you can't believe that, look at those stupid divorce rates. Isn't it even more sad that it seems you see more "Christians" with failed marriages than unbelievers theirselves. That means we must have got something really wrong.

The thing we got wrong was our hearts desire.

What a worldly view to have... Why do people find the need to feel good about theirself? The word says there is none who are good, not one! And also, God created you in HIS image... And beauty is fleeting. Beauty also has seemed to become a really relative term, because its honestly based on ones opinion (unless you're ruled by the media which is an entirely different topic.) Why do we need to find some sort of good in us to be happy? Can't we be happy in the goodness of Christ? And even then, theres a time of waiting... Until you can be mature in Christ to seek someone else/be sought by someone who is already satisfied by the goodness of Christ?

I guess it all really boils down to our heart motive.

If not an eye is looking at us, and somehow showing us that we're "worth" something.. will we be happy in Christ alone?


I do noticed that I'm kinda all over the place with this blog.. But just a bunch of random thoughts/ponderings that I decided to share.

Godbless all.

A great privilege

When our problems try to smother out our trust;
when our emotions try to rule us;
when burden is so hard to carry;
when our teared and failed attempts at "trying" leave us desperate for help;
when important questions remain unanswered;
when our hearts can hardly hold the pain of watching sin have its way in others;
when the world- so cold and stiff- doesn't even care to smile back at you.....


What a friend I have in Jesus, All my sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
Oh what peace I've often forfeited; oh what needless pain I've beared
All because I did not carry everything to God in prayer

Hope

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness
I dare not trust the sweetest frame
But wholly lean on Jesus' name
On Christ the solid rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand

All other ground is sinking sand

I am thankful that I don't have to find my hope in the promises of a better economy.
In You, Jesus, I build my hope and trust in. The times are definitely changing, and I'd say it is becoming more and more vitally important for our spiritual life to learn to trust God when things don't look well.

On You, Christ, I stand.

No other love like His

I think today i've really grasped the meaning of love towards others. I think there have been many times in my past where i've tried to justify treating those who i love crappy because they've treated me the same. I learned that love doesn't change, even when people do.

The perfect example of that would be Jesus on the cross, watching his people spit on him and beat him and mock him and bruise him. When I look at Christ, and how he showed true love for others, I feel ashamed. How can one justify hating or treating somene poorly when Christ loved all of us horrible sinners? He even loved those who seized him, and nailed him to the cross. Could I do that? Could I love the one who nailed my hands and feet to a cross? Could I love the one who looks at me with hate, the one that has no ounce of love back for me? Love is not love if it changes upon circumstances.

If I were to imagine my family and the ones i love turning against me, and seeking to kill me... I'm not sure how greatly that would hurt me. I'm not sure if I could bear it. Christ felt that pain. I've never really seen the cross from this perspective. Christ loved deeply and truly even when those he loved sought to kill him. He never stopped. He never got angry and removed himself from the cross and told them what He deserved, how he was being treated unjustly.. Nothing. He just asked the father to forgive them because they didn't understand what they were doing. They didn't understood the magnitude of the love Christ had for His creation.

How can I take after Christ's example? I can love deeply and truely for those who do not understand, and for those who can not grasp Christ's sacrifice. I can pray to God, asking Him for his mercy upon their lives... For they do not understand. I can pray for His word and his conviction to show them their deeds, and how His love through the cross and his sacrifice, can cover all their sins. How could a generation of "Christians" look upon what Christ did for us on the cross, and not be moved? I'm sure the father was moved as he looked upon his son, dying on a cross for a sin filled people that he truly and throughly loved. Can my love for others bring me to that very decision that Christ made? Would I be willing to lay down my life for those that Christ loves?

Lord, change me and mold me.

Lets be like Jesus, lets love like He loved.

<3 Kaitlin.

Not even a hint....

This ones gonna be short only because I like sleep.

Not Even a Hint by Joshua Harris
is such a good book.

So convicting; so encouraging.
So helpful. Sometimes its good to take a hard look at yourself through the eyes of Christ to see all the things we let creep into us. Like...

Needing to feel beautiful in order to be accepted in this world
Needing to be a certain waist size for the sole fact that media dipicts it as normal, when its actually... Anorexic.
Making a plan of action in order to avoid situation where temptation to lust occurs.

Who ever knew the practical would be so helpful to daily living?

Also, the good reminder of the way God intended me to be, and the way the world distorts it.
Its late, so sorry if this isn't making much sense. if you've read the book, i suppose you might know what I mean.

<3 night!

Helloooooo out there...

I am now officially registered to vote. =D


thought I'd announce that!

Secondly, I'd like to state that this blog's dedicated to my readers. Who are you? Do you enjoy reading my blog? Amusing? Confusing? Should I write about different things? Hm? What would you like to hear more about? Its good to have input considering I have no clue if this blog is just using internet space, lol but thats shows how much I know. I bet the internet could go on 934867934876294679248769247692476 g.

Thanks <3 Comment!

Knowing His mystery

"Kaitlin, I love you. You don't need to do it all, I will do it for you." Someone close to me told me God wanted them to tell me this. I had to step back and re-evaluate my life a week or so ago. In doing so, I realized that somehow the love I once had for Christ had faded. When I heard these words, they were like a jolt to my heart. Why do I always feel like I need to do it all for God? Why am I always thinking my efforts are good enough? I had lost my focus. I am nothing without Christ and all that He is through me is enough. How could I ever think that if I just "read more of my bible," or "prayed longer" that somehow I would be more spiritually intimate with my creator? I felt like such a fool. In my mind I had looked at Christ in the eyes of any worldly relationship. The relationship that "loves only when feeling loved." Hearing that Christ loves me made me re-evaluate everything. Its crazy. I know the Lord loves me. But somehow, within all the craziness of my life I had lost focus of how perfect His love is for me.

Had I lost my seriousness? Had I lost my passion? Just hearing that Christ desires to be close to me as well as me desiring to be close to Christ made my heart and my mind wander. For once in my life there is a song that describes perfectly the way I felt.

Mystery~ Phil Wickham

Here in the Quiet speak to me now
My ears are open to
Your gentle sweet whispering
Break down the door, come inside
Shine down Your bright light
I need a lamp for my feet, I need a lamp for my feet

I want to hear the thunder of who You are
To be captured inside the wonder of who You are
I want to live I want to breathe
To search out Your heart and all of Your mysteries

You were the first and You’ll be the end
Time cannot hold You down
Why save a wretch like me?
No eye has seen, no ear has heard
No heart could fully know
All of Your mystery

Your glory burns in the stars
Shine down your light let it burn in my heart
Bring me to glory, bring me to you
Lord it’s your heart that I will hold onto

Your glory burns in the stars
Shine down Your light let me know who You are
Jesus, Your glory burns in the stars
Shine down Your light, let me see You, let me see You

Taking care of your body

It occured to me within the last couple months... While looking at the mirror and my eating habbits; I need to get in shape. Don't get me wrong. This thought hadn't occurred to me because I wanted to "look great" even though looking okay is a plus, but I started thinking about how its godly to be in shape. I never really considered that healthy eating habits and daily excercise was in fact glorifying to God, but I am now convinced otherwise. How exactly does eating healthy and physically taking good care of my body bring more glory to Christ?

1. Its a good witness. Being on the outside, looking in... I always admired someone who was serious about eating right and taking good care of their body because it showed their self discipline. Getting in shape isn't easy, its hard work... But now while I'm either running on the treadmill at the gym or doing crunches, I remember that i can't give up because its "not everything to be in shape," but rather, "Being in shape shows good character, self-discipline, and ultimately brings more glory to Christ (as long as pride is out of the picture)."

2. It helps prevent laziness. When a Christian is determined to take care of the body that the Lord gave them, they will work hard to get in shape, or exercise to maintain their physical fitness. A lazy person won't wanna do anything that makes them uncomfortable... And after you start feeling the "burn" your flesh really isn't feeling like going on.... As Christians, we represent Christ. A lazy person is not a godly person, and if we represent Christ, we must not be lazy! Feel the burn, embrace the burn, push past it! And continue on.....

3. It is a good witness to those who look up to you spiritually, even height wise, and in the future... Maybe even your kids! It sets a good example. I know when I am a mom (someday) I want to set a good example for my children by eating right and taking care of the body that Christ gave me.

Things to be careful of...

- . Looking good just to look good is feeding to the flesh and results in pride. Thats a bad witness.
- . Taking care of your body for attention. Also pride
- . Becoming obsessed with your body and what you take in. I remember the bible saying that it is not what you consume that makes you who you are.

And I'll be like bev and say, well! Thats my blurb on taking care of your body! =]

Set the example!

Heart Issues and venting

I'm currently in a really strange mood. Last night I went to Grange fair. which is basically one of the monumental happenings that occurs in central Pennsylvania for a week in August, every August, for nearly the past hundred years.

All I could think were the memories of past years, strolling throughout the carnival and campers and tents with my usedtobebestfriend and our boyfriends. Bad memories. Sad memories. Then good memories. It was the old me; Before Christ. It reminded me of how much I miss having her company, and it also made me so sad because i realize she is no longer the same and neither am I. (regarding our friendship and our relationship with one another and Christ) Isn't it strange how one place that hardly ever changes can bring about tons of different feelings all at once? I felt sad, angry, disappointed, let down, discouraged, encouraged, pessimistic, and yet trying to hope the best... All at the same time.

The truth is that I've never had more than one or two friends who were close enough to consider my actual sisters in Christ. Beforehand, I supposed it was my shyness that could have been the reason why, but now its more so the fact that so many of my friends waver in their relationship with Christ. It makes me so sad. I've struggled in the same areas, and made stupid decisions and etc, but Christ helped me overcome and grow and change in the area of relationships with friends and in the area of personal relationships. I know I talk about this alot.... But the reason why I do is because it is a constant problem that continually presents itself to me with my friends who I DONT want to see fall away from Christ. I'm just tired. I'm so tired of seeing friends in Christ come and go. I'm tired of making precious memories with Christian brothers and sisters in the Lord, and looking back upon them 3 or 4 years later... Realizing that they've fallen away and no longer care about the things of the Lord. It makes me so incredibly sad. It also helps me appreciate the grace of God, because I know I could be in the same boat if it weren't for the grace of God. I'm just so..... Angry with Satan. I'm angry first of all that hes taken and continues to try to seduce those who seem to be weak in the Lord. I'm frusterated because I know I've learned so much in this area, and I feel useless as I try to somehow show my friends the pain and unhappiness of choosing the wrong path. I feel as though if i somehow, in someway, had the right words to express my experience and how close I had come to falling completely away from God, that it would save some of my friends the pain of making the wrong decisions and coming nearly as close as i did to falling completely away.

People dont realize!!!!!! That the attack of satan is so extremely subtle. The way he creeps into those doors that we haven't locked safely shut seem so innocent, so harmless, and so unnoticeable. Why can't we realize that the way Satan sets before us will seem good and right? Does he not come as an angel of light? Does he not use the truth of the word, and twist it, to make things that should be wrong, right? Why are we not on guard? Why do I continually see people lower the standards in their heart, and draw close to the line that divides black and white? Why do we not realize that Satan is continually looking for the opportunity to snatch our hearts away from the Lord? And an even harder question, why do our hearts want to see "how much we can get away with" instead of "going to the extreme to bring Christ more glory and honor?" Is this a heart issue? I know the grace of God is sufficient and the bible says that Christ is our keeper. I honestly feel that those who fall from grace do so because of a problem that starts in their heart.

Where does your heart stand? Do you struggle to understand whats right or wrong in Gods sight while dancing around the line that divides the kingdom of God with the kingdom of this world?

When you don't guard your heart...

I've been thinking about this ALOT the past couple weeks. I guess maybe because I've seen so many of my close friends fall away from God because of relationships that were not in the will of God. Even when I look at my own life, I realized if I had done one simple thing, i could have avoided alot of serious mistakes and heart break. I was talking a friends mom about this on a long trip. Sometimes I really feel that I've come so close to turning away. And I know that if I had only guarded my heart and mind from the start that I wouldn't have come that close to turning away from Christ. Its more serious than alot of Christian teenagers think it is. Sometimes when I look at my close friends now, I really am afraid that they don't realize the importance of guarding their heart and their emotions. Satan can do so much with your emotions when they are stirred up at inappropriate times. Its so innocent, so tiny. Maybe its a crush. Maybe its this one christian guy you've been talking to online who is cool. Maybe its your Christian brother who you've know since you were 3 feet tall. Don't get me wrong, I don't think its a sin to have a crush. But so many people don't realize that when they feed it, its going to grow! When you put your heart in the place of growing in affection towards the opposite gender, when you know God is calling you to be single for a period if time, for a season, you've started to make a serious mistake. How can someone have undistracted devotion to the Lord when half of the time, they are making sure they can sit next to, talk to, have serious one on one eye contact with a person of the opposite sex? How can one be undistracted to the Lord when they make it a point to be online every single night at a certain time so they can "encourage" and talk to a Christian brother who is struggling. I don't know.. Some people might say, so what? But I know from experience thats a recipe for disaster. I think I've seen this so many times with my Christian friends. Its a crush, its not sin, we're not dating, we're not in immorality. Maybe you aren't "dating" and maybe you aren't in sin... yet... But you are DISTRACTED. But I can wait for her/him. But how can someone know that God's will won't lead one another in different directions?

I see tons of people with romantic feelings towards their brother or sister in the Lord and so rarely do I see them take these feelings before the Lord. How many times do we let our minds wander, and our heart care a little more romantically for a certain individual without first consulting with Christ? Is He not the one who owns our heart? Is He not the one who gives us wisdom and guidance on heart matters? And even more so, if we're supposed to be single, why have we voluntarily reserved our heart for a certain individual, without having God confirm that they are, indeed, going to be the one they spend the rest of their life with?

This is what drives me nuts. If someone has their heart reserved for a certain individual, how does that leave God having any say in the matter? It doesn't. What if God wants your heart elsewhere? That means either you are in for some serious heartache or you would rather have what your heart has been craving than what the Lord wants for your life.

I guess to sum up this blog, because its getting long... Make no reservations! Guard your heart diligently! Take everything before the Lord! Pray! And be undistractedly devoted to Christ until He tells you its time for a relationship. I've learned this all the hard way, but I hope this has somehow, in some way, encouraged someone.

I am blessed.

Life is so full of suprises; some good, some bad. But in Christ, all the good is great and all the bad is used for good to those who love Him. I'm encouraged. Amidst all the problems, God has been so good to me. I am so blessed to have so many godly friends in Christ who are here in prayer and in company.

Sunday was awesome spending time with people up on the mountain. It was so beautiful. Its hard for me to fathom how God created beautiful things like mountains, and yet still payed attention to the small details of me. I am sooo greatful for the people God has placed in my life who can give me godly counsel and wisdom in the harder areas in my life, such as looking for a full time job without having my GED yet. I am just encouraged. I made some seriously stupid mistakes but yet God is helping me along and getting me back to where I need to be. I used to seriously freak out about the years ahead because I just wish I could know whats coming. I learned that God didn't make things that way just for the purpose of helping me to trust in Him more completely. He definitely helped my attitude. I have opportunities, I just need to apply adequate effort in making my resume (with a little help from the blondie =D) and scheduling to take my GED classes in the fall at state high. By the end of this year I should have my diploma, and hopefully (crosses fingers, and prays) a FULL TIME job at Penn state.